Book Review: Fat Vampire

Title: Fat Vampire

Author: Adam Rex

Pages: 324

Rating: E for Exceeds Expectations

Review: Every vampire that we have met in the new age are all the same. Brooding, mysterious, perfect looking men who fall in love with the human girl. Are people afraid to show the imperfect vampires? Say the short, fat one who no one likes and every girl will laugh in their face as they try to be mysterious? Well, fear no more, for one author has given us that. Let us all applaud Adam Rex!

Whenever we think of vampires, we think of Anne Rice’s Louis and Lestate, Stephenie Meyer’s Edward Cullen and Charlaine Harris’ Bill and Eric. The all too typical architecture of a modern vampire. But now, Adam Rex brings us Douglas Lee. Who is Douglas Lee you ask? Well let me not hold you from meeting this great fellow. Douglas Lee is a short, fat, Jewish vampire who will politely ask you if he can suck your blood, and then be seen walking away with a pout because he was turned down.

Douglas is fifteen-years-old when he is attacked by the woman of his dreams. Or so he says. But the truth? He was attacked by his naked acquaintance and is too ashamed to admit it. Douglas could barely fit in his tragic story of his human life and now fitting in as a vampire is even worse. The only reason he stays sane is because of Jay, his best friend who entertains himself by proving and disproving vampiric ideas.

Then we meet Sejal, an exchange student from India who traveled to America due to a severe case of “the Google”. Sejal and Douglas’ lives do not intertwine as one might expect. He is in love with her, and she is merely a friendly face trying to fit into the crowd. Unlike all other vampiric fiction, this story is not about love. It is about their story.

As mentioned several times before, I don’t usually enjoy vampire novels. I have never liked them, even when I was a kid. And now, seeing them being taken out of their traditions, I have grown even more dislike for them. I actually won Fat Vampire in a contest and I finally got to reading it. I am glad I actually did read it and not give it away. In the beginning I kind of hesitant about actually reading it. I did laugh with the funny one liners and the sense of humor the characters had, but the fact that it was a vampire novel seemed to throw me off course. I almost gave up at one point just because it was a vampire novel.

But I made myself go through until I finished it. Each character had their own funny personality that really adds to the story. And it is not as if we are meeting them for the first time. From the very beginning we go as if we have already know them and throughout the story we learn more and more about them.

What would a vampire novel be without the inclusion of a vampire hunter? That’s right, someone wants to hurt our lovable, fat vampire. Within the world of Fat Vampire, there exists a show that is not much unlike our real world Ghost Hunters. They’ve got their lock on Douglas with a couple of Redeemers, a hunter-made weapon that might even make a human or two raise their eyebrows.

By the end of the book, you are feeling pretty good. You have laughed plenty of times, gasped, and laughed a bit more. But by the end, you are left with your mouth opened by the shock of an ending.

This novel is one of those that you either hate it, love it, or don’t really know which category to put it in. Most of the humor in it wouldn’t make everyone laugh but when it does, you’ll get a real kick out of it. So if you’re not really a vampire fan, but want to give it a try, read Fat Vampire. A never coming of age story starring our cake-eating friend. A blood cake that is.

*I would like to thank Shaun for helping me edit this review which was crappy in the beginning, but is now readable. =D Thank you Shaun!!